Goodnight Mom

I found this in the back of the November issue of Parenting magazine, and I just had to share. I can recite Goodnight Moon in my sleep, and this version is one I can definitely relate.

Goodnight Mom (with apologies to Margaret Wise Brown)

In the messy green family room
There was a telemarketer ringing the telephone
And a crying toddler because his brother
just popped his red balloon
And a picture of -

The cow jumping over the moon
(which someone colored on with permanent marker)
And there was a missing teddy bear,
and a girl with gum in her hair

And one to be scolded
And laundry to be folded
And a very hungry spouse
And something stinky in the house
(that no one else seemed to smell)

And a comb and a brush and a colicky
baby who just won't shush
And a frazzled mommy screaming #*%#@

Goodnight messy room
Goodnight scribbled-on moon
Goodnight cow getting out while she can
Goodnight telemarketers and the
popped balloon

Goodnight long-gone teddy bear
Goodnight cereal bar smeared all
over the dining room chair

Goodnight spitup
And goodnight leaky sippy cup
Goodnight much-too-little house and
goodnight grumpy spouse
Goodnight comb and goodnight brush
And goodnight to a certain 4-year old
who just needs to hush right now I mean it

Goodnight Elmo
Goodnight toys we'll pick up tomorrow,
or the next day
Hello chardonnay and TiVo-
"me" time finally -Sarah Jio